The beauty of letting go.
Healthy living is gorgeous living, and gorgeous living is unbothered. It is not encumbered or bogged down by the past, nor does it hold onto things and people who no longer serve us. As a personal and professional performance coach, I often warn my all-female clientele, “A woman never loses her beauty, but she often gives it away.” What this means is that each of us is beautiful in our own right and, as women, our external beauty tends to mean alot to us, especially as we get older and our bodies begin to change. We become more aware of lines in our faces, dry patches of skin, random gray hairs, and such. But even though these changes are all a part of getting older, some women are aging more slowly and better than others, and not all of it is due to genetics — alot of it is based on choices.
When you finally decide to be beautiful for the rest of your life, the next question is, “Well, how do I do that?” For some people, the idea of beauty is concocted in a doctor’s office and involves needles, scalpels, and lasers. That’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with a little help from science and technology to keep it all together, but before we go that far, there are simpler, cheaper, more easily accessible ways to remain gorgeous. After all, as I remind clients, “Beauty is a lifestyle, not a product.”
Even though many refuse to exercise, eat cleanly, drink lots of water, and get plenty of rest, we all know these practices have been proven to make people more productive, balanced, and beautiful. But what many of us overlook is the pressure that emotional and mental stress puts on our bodies, and the havoc it wreaks on our looks. This is why we have to keep our minds beautiful.
Learning how to control stress, limit our access to stressful situations, and avoid internal stressful dialogue and practices is crucial to a healthy life and a gorgeous look. A huge part of that is mastering the art of letting go and moving on.
Feels weird, doesn’t it? Ofcourse it does. We are surrounded by people who are just as important to us as ourselves, but here’s the thing — if you’re not at your happiest, how can you serve them properly? How can you be the best wife if you are stressed and unhappy? How will you be the best mom, the best boss, or a team member? How will you be the best at anything if you aren’t okay? And this is why your first worry should always be yourself, so that when it’s time to be concerned about those closest to you, you are prepared and able to serve. Learn to be selfish. As every flight attendant says during their pre-flight safety instructions, “Put your oxygen mask on first before helping the person next to you.”
Once you make happiness your top priority, the decision to cut the people, things, and concepts that no longer serve you becomes easier to make. You only have to ask yourself, “Does this make me happy?” If the answer is no, then there are no more questions, and only one answer: walk away. A person who practices healthy selfishness also practices self-preservation, and just as in the wild, self-preservation is the key to survival in civilization.
Put plainly, it’s vital to know who and what is important. We usually put too much stock into people, things, and concepts that either hold no real significance or have already served their purpose. In your healthy selfishness, ask yourself, “Do I (still) need this?” or, “Does this (still) serve me?”
When something or someone is really for you, there will be no doubt, no questions, no confusion, no stress, no pressure. Life is only as hard as we make it, and most people tend to make their lives very difficult by not knowing when to walk away. If your spirit isn’t screaming, “Yes! Yes! Yes!” leave it alone. Put your oxygen mask on first and get the hell out of there!
You’re human, and sometimes, when you look back at decisions you either made or didn’t make, you wish you had done things differently. Most people would call these lapses in judgment mistakes, but not me. The way I see it, everything in our lives is going according to plan, even if it doesn’t seem to be our plan. I’m sorry to break it to you, but you’re not in complete control of your fate. Some things can’t be helped, and if you believe in a higher power, you know that everything will always work itself out for good.
Yeah, sure, maybe it’s not what He would have chosen for you, but nothing is a surprise to God. He’s not sitting on His throne with a bag of popcorn, watching us like movies, shocked at the plot twists. He sees and knows all, and knew it before you even knew yourself. Your job is to see each obstacle as a test and to engage your faith, even and especially if it feels as if you have failed, then use your experiences to increase your faith and help others.
Everything has a purpose, even if you don’t understand it, and that is why there are no mistakes. It’s all on purpose, for a purpose. When you start seeing things this way, letting go of past hurts or grievances is easy, and moving on becomes second nature.
Personally, I have become proficient at disconnecting, compartmentalizing, and moving on. I think I do it faster than most and I see how it bothers people in my life and even strangers who have followed my life and trials via books and social media. I mean, people get legitimately angry at me because I don’t sit around being butt-hurt for too long. But here’s the thing, life is either really short or very long, and none of us knows how much longer we have on earth. The more you understand and accept who you are, the more you understand the importance of selfishness and self-preservation, the more you realize tomorrow isn’t promised, and the less time you take getting over things.
Life is life. The shit will always hit the fan, but let’s not wallow in it and smear it all over our faces. Don’t be afraid to burn bridges and use the flames to light your way onward. There are no shortages of people, places, or circumstances in the world, and you can have whatever you want, just as you can throw away whatever you don’t want! So, be selfish, put your oxygen mask on first, do only what makes you truly happy, and stop believing in mistakes because they don’t exist for those who are faithful. Remove stress, pressure, and guilt from your life and watch your peace show up on your face. For peace is at the core of all that is gorgeous.
