Over time, some relationships come and go, but the one thing that remains the same is your role in each one. You are the common denominator. Things are the way they are because of you. Although you cannot take responsibility for the actions of others, you have to take responsibility for choosing and staying with someone who exhibits questionable personal and relationship behaviors. You have to recognize and admit to your level of vibration, and understand that you meet people where you are, not just where they are. When you are low, you date low. When you are high, you date high.
When Not to Date:
When you are suffering –– when you are recovering from a break-up, a death, or a major disappointment –– it is best advised you do not date. When we are in these times of emotional lows, we will only attract people who are just as low as we are, and people who wish to take advantage of those who are vibrating on such a low frequency.
And this low frequency isn't always based on something that has recently happened. Sometimes, this frequency is a way of life; it is something we learned as children and have never sought and received the tools needed to dig ourselves out of our vibrational ditch. Some people are always down. They are pessimistic and always complaining. They cry alot. They argue alot. They never see the blessings, only the burdens. So, when these people date, they are naturally attracted to partners who are just like them so that they will have someone with which they can commiserate, daily.
If any of this sounds like you, stop dating!
What to Do Instead:
There is something to be said about taking the time to heal before moving into another relationship. How much time is dependent on how many healing tools you have acquired in your emotional tool belt, and how well you know how to use them. Still, whatever your circumstance or time commitment, there are a few things you absolutely must do in order to vibrate higher, in preparation for dating higher.
Incubate, Find Joy, and Forward Focus
It's time to shut it down! When babies and ideas are not finished being formed, they are placed into incubators, as a way to nurture and grow them. This is what you'll need to do in order to nurture and grow yourself. So, incubate –– separate yourself from everyone in your life in such a way that is healthy and rejuvenating.
- Take yourself out and be with yourself instead of always being surrounded by friends or family
- Do things that make you happy, in and out of doors (gardening, cleaning, organizing, walking, cooking, baking, etc.)
- Restrict phone calls, text messages, and social media access by turning off notifications and sending calls to voicemail
- Focus on your personal pleasure on a daily basis, doing atleast one thing that brings you joy every single day
- Focus on your upcoming goals (daily, weekly, monthly), write them down, get them done, and cross them off your list (fitness, dietary, financial, credit, professional, travel, etc.)
- Learn more about yourself by discovering new ways of thinking and seeing the world (books, documentaries, etc.)
What This Does:
Spending time with yourself, examining your behavior and thinking patterns, working on your finances, being healthy and fit, improving your credit, and traveling the world while you do it, will begin to change you in ways a relationship cannot. The fact of the matter is that, when you have your complete shit together, you begin to vibrate higher, and when you vibrate higher, you date higher.
You will not accept anything less than what you deserve, and what you deserve will be someone who is operating on the same level and vibration as you. Your intended partner will have similar drive and accomplishments, and he or she will motivate you to do and be greater than you are, today. This is not to say that vibrating higher magically makes everything and everyone perfect. No. But, it is to say that when we are operating on a higher level of learning and understanding, we make better decisions for our futures, and that includes deciding what sort of people with which we share our lives.