Todd "Too Short" Shaw and I met sixteen years ago in Los Angeles, though I can't remember exactly how. What I can remember is spending time with him in Atlanta and Los Angeles, many times over those years. Every night out with Todd was a great night. I have always known him as a fiercely protective escort during our nights out, and even on the evenings when he was surrounded by a bevy of other women, he never tried to make me to feel like one of the crowd. Men respect him and are careful around him. When other men saw me with Todd, they'd know not to approach, and I liked that. This rapper, this man, in all his historical grandeur and with his preceding pimp persona, has never been anything less than a gentleman to me, and he has always treated me like a lady. NOTE: THIS EPISODE HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM iTUNES BECAUSE IT WAS JUST TOO LEWD FOR OUR SPONSORS. OOPS! YOU CAN LISTEN TO IT BELOW.
But this isn't exactly what Too Short is known for. Over the past thirty years, the East Oakland born rapper has always been synonymous with misogynistic lyrics and his ever-present degradation of women. But that's not to say these "freaky tales" as told in classics like Cocktails, are not true. Maybe this is the world as he has known it. Maybe he has lived in a world where women are bitches and hoes and worth nothing more than blow jobs in droptop, and quickies in alleys. Heaven knows that, for some, that world exists.
But I wondered how he must have grown over the past sixteen years.
Too Short, as long as I have been aware of him, has always had a pimp persona. In actuality, his artistic persona seemed to always bleed into his real life, as he was always surrounded by women willing to do anything to be with him. This, however, can be said of most any rapper and certainly most any successful man. Still, who he is and has been in public has always been a far cry from the man I have known, privately.
Still, with all his duplicity, Todd's Two Short persona gleams during this episode, slyly coaxing my own public persona out from my cohesive exterior and recent personal branding. What I'm trying to say here is that when Short and I get together, we just start talking shit. Lots and lots of shit.
I wanted to pop my podcast cherry comfortably with someone I know. A few beers and one blunt later, Todd and I went from shop talk to barbershop talk, from talking about business to butt sex, personas to penis sizes. And I was really trying to keep it together but this is one of those moments when I give up being a lady and become just one of the boys, one of those moments when political correctness is tossed out and no fucks are tossed in.
The Gorgeous Girl's Guide to...Tall Tales with Too Short
New York Times best selling author, founder of The Gorgeous Girl's Guide, Steffans Publishing Enterprises, and Karrine & Co., keynote speaker, xoJane.com contributor, host of The Gorgeous Girl's Guide to... at Podcast One.