The Beauty of Disappointment and Doubt

The Way Life Works:

Life is easy once you take a second to really look at it and notice how it works. So, let's do that right now! Think about the ocean––it ebbs and flows. Think about trees––they grow green, then brown, then green again. And what about the sun and the moon? They rise and lower only to rise and lower again as the earth spins and spins and spins.

My point is: what is old will always be new again, what goes around will always come right back around, and just as there will always be darkness, there will also always be light. Nothing lasts forever and the minute things go south is the minute right before they go north. Once you understand this about life and the nature of things, you stop freaking out all the time, you engage your intuition, and start preparing for the flow, for the green, for the shine, and for the rise.

Appreciate Disappointment:

The wonderful thing about being let down is that you already know what the next move is––being let up! I don't worry about disappointment because, honestly, I don't think there really is any! So what, something happens one way when I wished it would have happened another. Who cares? All this means is that what is really meant for me is on its way! I have learned to appreciate what could have been a disappointment by focusing, not on what has just happened, but on what has to happen next. When the ocean draws back, it absolutely has to push forward, and it is the same with all things in life.

Utilize Doubt:

I love doubt, mine and that of others. Personally, I know there is nothing I can't do but still, right before I'm about to do something amazing, I question myself. Can I really do this? Can I do this well? Is this even what I'm supposed to be doing? All these questions and more pop into my mind seconds before I hit the stage and podium each time I lecture, sign books, or appear on television. But what I have noticed is that my self-doubt is always followed by my masterful execution of the very thing of which I was doubtful. So, there's the pattern: doubt it firstly, kill it secondly.

So, when I feel waves of doubt, I know I'm about to wreck shit and you should feel the very same way! If you think about it, we rarely doubt ourselves when we're about to do something that's not worth doing or something that has no way of changing our lives. Those butterflies, that wave of doubt comes when we are on the precipice of greatness, so embrace it, love it, utilize it to push you forward.

And this train of thought doesn't only apply to self-doubt; apply it when others doubt you, as well. I remember the day someone told me no one would care about my story and that writing a book about my life was  stupid idea. He was my attorney at the time and that day, he was fired. Less than a year later, Confessions of a Video Vixen was in stores worldwide and it was a New York Times bestseller, my first of several, which remained on the list for over a year, before jumping back on the list a year later in paperback. That attorney later apologized for doubting me, but as I told him, there were no apologies needed. In fact, I thanked him because it was his doubt that helped drive me to success. Once he said I couldn't, I knew I had to!

I just kept replaying his words and they kept the embers burning. I love being defiant. I love doing what others say I can't, couldn't, or shouldn't. It thrills me to hear these words and something in me comes alive, whereas with other people, such words might make them die a little inside. What I am telling you is that nothing can stop you or even slow you down unless you give it permission and power. Once you realize you are the second most powerful force in your life after God, the less you will let other people's words, thoughts, or ideas affect you, steal your joy, or shatter your dreams.

Find Your Beauty:

There is nothing more beautiful, more gorgeous than a woman who cannot be stopped or discouraged. Confidence and surety are signs of a woman who knows who she is and cannot be defined by anything or anyone around her, including even her own fleeting negative thoughts. A woman who knows who she is and believes in her power will use all negativity as fuel, including  doubt and disappointment. Be that woman.

Know that no one has the power to stop you but you. Know that there are no disappointments, only things that were never meant for you in the first place. Know that doubt is only proof that what you're about to do will change everything. Know that when things are bad, that just means they're about to get really good. Know that God didn't bring you this far just to drop you off. Know that you know and knowing is gorgeous!