The 16 Successes

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If you want to change how you feel, change how you think and behave

Everyone has heard the mantra, change your mind and you’ll change your life, but how many times do you actually repeat this mantra to yourself and put it into action? It all starts in the mind; how we feel is a decision, just as how we behave is a decision. Your entire adult life is based on a series of decisions you’ve made, therefore, if there is something about your life or yourself that you don’t like, you have the power to change it by making a whole new set of decisions! But, first, you’ll have to change the way you see things.

Take responsibility for yourself and hold yourself accountable

Let’s revisit the concept from above, and let it sink in. If there is something you don’t like about yourself or your life, it’s because of a decision you have made and keep making. Your life is designed just as you have designed it. If you’re not happy with your body, your diet, your health, your looks, your financial status, your job, your education, your credit –– that’s on you! It’s time to stop blaming others for how you have decided to see and deal with the world.

Stay grounded in your power

Like beauty, women never lose their power, but they often give it away. Stand in your power, ten toes down, planted. Stay no when you don’t want to say yes to people and things you know aren’t good for you. Take time for yourself and preserve your energy when you’ve had enough of the world, and let no one feel guilty for taking care of yourself, first! State your opinion. Flaunt your expertise. Make no apologies. Have no regrets. Take no shit.

Embrace change

You know change is coming when things get uncomfortable. Your job is to lean into the discomfort, embrace it, even chase it! This is where the growth is. So, say yes to things that are good for you, to the positive experiences you would usually avoid out of fear, anxiety, or laziness. Go to that party filled with stranger, take that trip all by yourself, enroll in the class, leave your relationship…let go.

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Focus on things you can control

The good news is that there are very few things in life that you can actually control, therefore, when you stop trying to control everything else, you’ll find yourself with less to do! To help you out, think of it this way: you can only control the things happening inside your house. There, it’s up to you when and how the bills get paid, who come in and goes out. You control the atmosphere, the food, the aroma, the decor, the peace. You control how your home runs and how it makes you feel. It is your only domain –– it and yourself. Focus on them both.

Take calculated risks

That change we talked about a minute ago –– it’s going to come with risks. Still, don’t jump at every chance you get. Think about it. Evaluate. Ask yourself, and then what? Do everything good for you, or at the very least, everything that isn’t bad, and you’ll find yourself pleasantly surprised by the results of your risks!

Embrace alone time

We’ve been discussing this alot lately, and for good reason. There is a sort of magic in being alone and in your silence. In the moments we are speaking, we are not listening. If we are not listening, we are not learning. If we are not learning, we are not growing. If we are not growing, we are stagnant. If we are stagnant, we are no longer living, and we cannot be fulfilled.

stay focused on the present

This concept is so very simple, yet, we have the most difficult time practicing it. You do not have a past. It’s impossible. The past has already gone, so how can you have it? Just as you can’t eat your cake and have it, you can’t have yesterday back! Get a new slice of cake and stop focusing on the slice you ate some time ago. And the same goes with the future. None of us own it. We don’t have it, and when you think about it, we never really have it, because by the time tomorrow gets here, it’ll be today –– it’ll be the present. So, that’s where you focus…on the the now…on the slice of cake you’re eating right now.

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learn from your mistakes by not repeating them

Okay. Shit happens, and it’s totally fine. It’s life. But here’s the thing –– when we don’t analyze ourselves, if we are not more self-aware, we will miss the lessons in the events we count as mistakes. Instead of being hard on yourself when you think things haven’t worked out, ask yourself what this moment is teaching you. Make a note of that lesson, because one day, the opportunity to prove you’ve learned it will show up, and you’ll have a chance to show up, too!

regulate your emotions and monitor your thoughts

Take a moment. You already know what happens when you lose control of your anger, your sadness, and embittered feelings. You’ve already gone down the rabbit hole and into an abyss of negativity, shame, anxiety, and fear, and you know where it all leads. Nowhere. You made things worse every single time you lost your emotional footing, and you’ve had regrets every time you do. So, stop. Take a moment. Recognize that split second when you go from calm to irrational, and in that moment, change your mind. It’ll change your life.

evaluate and replace negative thoughts

This is an ongoing theme, obviously! Everything we do, everything we are, begins in the mind. While being self-aware, you will most definitely hear yourself saying negative things about you, about others, and about certain circumstances. It is your job to replace those negative thoughts with positive ones, right away. At the very least, as soon as you hear a negative thought in your head or creeping out of your mouth, say the exact opposite of that thought, even if you don’t believe it, just yet. Say it. Repeat it.

Keep going, especially when you think you’ve failed

Mistakes aren’t real. Regret isn’t real. Failure isn’t real. Each of these concepts only exist in the mind and are rooted in the story we tell ourselves. When you have changed your mind about events that can feel like mistakes, regrets, and failures, you will realize they’re really just lessons with blessings wrapped inside. So, you seem you have to keep going, because it’s the only way to out the lesson to good use and to reap the rewards of the blessing!

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Listen to yourself, trust your systems, and don’t try to please others

Self-realization, knowing who you are, who you are becoming, and all the ways of being that work best for you, is the foundation of creating a system. Once you have your systems in place, once you know how you need to live your life for optimum peace and wellness, trust it.

realize and Understand that no one owes you anything

From the moment you became an adult, no one owed you anything. You are responsible for yourself, and everything in your life is either your fault or your responsibility. Taking ownership over your life, especially the not-so-great parts, gives you the power and permission to take ownership of the wonderful parts!

Results aren’t always immediate, so stay forward focused

Practice the practice! Be consistent in everything you do that is meant to lead you to personal, emotional, financial, physical, spiritual, and professional success. Do the work, and do it for the rest of your life. There will be small victories along the way; celebrate them! Also, be patient. The bigger victories are coming; just not exactly when or how you imagined.

Always evaluate if your behavior is actually sabotaging your goals

To that end, take stock of your thoughts and behaviors, and always ask yourself if they are part of the plan you’ve made for your life –– if they fit in to the vision you have of your higher self. Are you showing up as your best self?