How to Get What You Want


The Four Stops is a magnificent practice, and one we will review in just a few months. Still, even though I am the author of this practice (which will see an exciting update very soon), I still have to remind myself of it when I forget to utilize its knowledge. Just recently, this was the case, and with one not-so-simple shift, my entire life got easier.

Long story short, this is what happened…

I wanted something, which was my first mistake. I wanted someone to be a certain way, and the more I asked for it, the more I fought for it, the farther away I got from getting it. It was like pushing a boulder uphill. I was exhausting myself, the conversation, and the relationship. We were going around-and-around, month-after-month, and never coming to a place of peace on the subject. I swear, we’ve been fighting for almost a year.


All this time, I thought he was the problem. I thought he needed to grow, to mature, and to just do the right thing! But even though all of that is absolutely true, that wasn’t the problem.

The problem was me.

The best way to get what you want, especially from people, is to stop wanting it. Period. Stop the phone calls, stop the text messages, stop chasing, and stop pushing. The shift in the energy when I stopped doing these things was and has been remarkable! By no longer pursuing what I want, and by no longer caring if I ever got it, I opened the passageway to receiving it. And now, I am astounded everyday by the effortlessness in this relationship.

All I had to do was stop.

All you have to do is stop.

People are strange, and some people just don’t like doing what they are told or asked to do, but will do that very same things when you stop asking. Some people love to fight and give resistance. Some people are more frightened by your silence.

But, everyone runs when they are chased.

Remember that.

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self careElisabeth Ovesen