Negativity seems to be the language of choice these days; it has become how people communicate and what most have come to expect. In fact, there seems to be an influx of people who don't know how to survive without negativity, creating it when there is none. This people have the dizzying ability to take something completely drama free and turn it into a shit storm. We see this behavior in our everyday lives, sometimes at home, at work, and most definitely online. Negativity is everywhere and dodging it takes a lot more mindfulness than it used to, but that mindfulness can save you tons of stress and is worth the practice. Here's how to do it:
Follow and Practice These Simple Steps:
- Self Care: Conscious, daily self care is the beginning of all stages of wellness. Everyday routines dedicated to caring for your mind, body, and soul are the key to how you deal with everything life throws at you, positive and negative. Meditation, prayer, exercise, quiet time with herbal tea and a good book, weekly mani-pedis, it all counts toward your very necessary self care. Keep up with these daily and weekly routines and let them serve you as stress relief.
- Reaction vs Response: There is definite difference between responding to negativity and reacting, and it is in your best interest to learn that difference. You never want to react to negativity. Reactions are mostly immediate and done without much thought. Take a moment. Step away from the source of the negative energy, and choose your response. More times than not, when you take a moment away from the source of the irritation, you realize that your best response is no response. Everyone and everything doesn't deserve your time and consideration.
- Don't Feed the Animals: Do not feed into negativity. Do not look for it on the internet and click away when it pops up. Stop your friends when they start gossiping, tell them you don't want to hear it, and cut them off completely if they just can't seem to knock it off. When someone calls to complain about their day, ask, "What's the good news?" Force them to redirect their energy and the conversation. Apply these rules to yourself, also. Pay attention to your internal rhetoric and don't become a source of negativity.
- Focus on Solutions: Too often we get aught up in all the things that seem to be going wrong. This breeds more negative energy. To get out of a negative spiral, or to avoid it all together, switch your focus to the solution of the problem.
- Boundaries: There needs to be personal rules in place that determine how much you are willing to take and how close you will let certain energies. It may be easier for you to do this with coworkers and practical strangers, but harder with family, close friends, and other loved ones. However, it is those loved ones who need the strictest boundaries. Those who are closet to you have the greatest potential to hurt you, even unintentionally. Be on guard. Make no excuses for negative language and actions. Refuse to participate in family drama (old and new), and be the one who walks away or stays calm during a lover's spat. Don't allow anyone to drag you out of your position of positivity.
- Least Resistance: The most important practice is the practice of nothingness––doing and saying nothing, letting things be. This is the path of least resistance. Often, we find ourselves trying to fix things when we think they're going wrong, or fix people we believe need or want our help. But, here's the thing––what's meant to be is meant to be and sometimes, no matter what you say or do, you can't change or fix things. Only do what absolutely needs to be done, and let the universe handle the rest. You are not a magician.
New York Times best selling author, keynote speaker and workshop leader, founder of The Gorgeous Girl's Guide, Steffans Publishing Enterprises, and Karrine & Co.