As the holiday season rolls along, some of us may be experiencing a number of emotional episodes and overwhelm. Getting together with our families can prove stressful, as we sit around a table with people who we haven't seen in months or years, questions and accusations hurling. Then, there is the familial dramas that have been waging on for decades, since before you were even born! Everyone wants to know when you're getting married, or why you don't want to have children, why is it taking you so long to finish school, or why in the world you would want to move away from all of this.
The holidays are a tough time for many different reasons. Those who are away from their families have a hard time dealing with separation and loneliness, while others struggle with feelings of abandonment and loss. This time of year makes us wax poetic about the people we have loved, the things we've had, places we've been, and how far we have come (or not come) over the past year or years.
It's also the time of year when exes tend to come out of the woodwork.
As these ghosts reappear in your life during this most emotional time of year, it is important for you to stay strong and focused on your goals, and on your dedication to crushing those goals. Ghosts from your past will come with the same script they've used for year –– the same script they are using on other women, right now.
Your ex will have a sad song. He will tell you how much he misses and loves you, and how much it's not working out with the person or people he's been with. He'll tell you how much he needs to see your face. He will be pushy and everything he says will come with a sense of urgency.
But none of this will be urgent, and none of it will be true.
His "asks" will start small. First, he will call, and when you don't answer, he will text. He will ask that you please call him back as soon as you can. And maybe you will ignore him completely because that is the best thing to do. Or, maybe you will take time to call because a small, petty part of you wants to hear him grovel, just so you can reject him, and tell him how happy you are in your life at this very moment, without him.
It's like one of those "choose your own adventure" stories!
But, no matter which adventure your choose, the ending has to be the same. Exes are exes for a reason, so when yours shows up, be sure to remind yourself why you aren't together, anymore. Remind yourself of all the horrible things you've said to each other, and all the nights you stayed up fight and crying over god-knows-what. Think about the work you have done on yourself since your breakup, and think about all the work yo have left to do.
Healing is a lifestyle, not an occasion.
Love yourself more than you love anyone else in the world, because no one's coming to save you. You're going to have to save yourself. We have all made a series of decisions that have led us to where we are, right now, at this very moment. And not all of those decisions were easy, smart, or good, but they were our decisions, nonetheless, and they deserved to be honored –– even the bad ones. Those decisions have passed, and what lies ahead are better, smarter decisions that will out you exactly where you deserve to be.
Happy and at peace.
No matter how emotional this time of the year is for you, or for those around you, remember that there is no going back.
All that's left is forward.
Continue to rely on our courses to keep you in check during this time and continue looking into the future, because that's where we're all going.
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