Listen, I don’t have a whole bunch of photos from Duffy’s in St. Thomas, and let me tell you why.
After a few hours at he beach, I went home for a bit before heading back out to a little bar named Duffy’s. Usually, this place is pretty packed, but on this night, I counted 6 tourists, 2 local hookers, 4 local scammers, and 2 old locals minding their business on the patio.
The music was loud. There was a crystal ball hanging from the ceiling, a smoke machine, laser lights, and all sorts of trappings you’d usually find in a nightclub. Duffy’s means business.
But, it was the end of the nigt for me and I was not interested in any of the shenanigans. I noticed the bartender pouring shots into the mouths of little rubber alligators. So, that’s a thing. And his bartending partner kept asking if I was alrighty, since I only had one beer and a cup of ice water.
Then, somehow, after refusing an alligator shot, the bartender made a cocaine joke. He’s from California so, I get it. When that didn’t go over too well, and I still wasn’t loose enough for Duffy’s, he proceeded to let me know, “How we do things around here,” as he put it.
Listen, all I remember was something about taking my shirt and bra off so that he could apply a temporary Duffy’s tattoo on my nipple or my butt, and how fast he can clear the bar so that women can lay on the bar with their shirts up, bras off, temporary tattoos on their nipples, allowing randoms to use their bellybuttons as shot glasses. They also sell colorful plastic leis for $1 and call them cheap leis.
I had a good laugh and finished my water before going home. Not this time, Duffy’s. Not this time.