Fear, Anxiety and Past Failures

Fear is a powerful drug and one of the most common and BIGGEST hindrances to personal and business growth. Fear will have you sitting around doubting yourself, doubting your abilities and your worth before your idea can even make it to paper.

Then there’s that transferred fear.

Some of us are toting around someone else’s failure story. Because your mother failed, your sister failed, and your cousin failed… you feel you are destined to fail as well. I truly believe that you nor I should EVER accept anyone else’s failure story and should go out, try our hand and find our own story-whether it be failure or success, it will be our own.

Now, let’s talk about failure... I had a recent client that wanted the foolproof plan, the no fail layout on how to start up her consulting business. She’d end each action item that I’d give her with the question, “ So, if I do this, I’ll become a millionaire one day right?”

It was a struggle to get her to understand that business is not foolproof, cyclical and a risk and if there was an EXACT do this then that layout, that everyone would be rich and even Apple wouldn’t make mistakes.

But I found that her fear was deeper than just not wanting to be embarrassed. She had a family to care for a serious responsibilities to consider.

Typically, the result of a business not succeeding has less to do with lack of money and more to do with lack of self confidence and fear. Your fear won’t disappear, but you MUST learn how to channel this fear into usable energy that you then leverage to catapult yourself into success, into starting, expanding and launching your ideas.

Let’s be real, we ALL have fears. I do almost every day. But one fear that keeps me moving, is the fear of embarrassment-meaning, I fear letting the world know that I am going to do something, then not do it- not launch-not start. So, instead of letting myself get consumed with this fear and not make a move, I use it to my advantage and tell EVERYONE. I make an announcement on social media. I tell my friends. I tell my clients. I have found that when I put my feet to the fire, that I produce better- that my best words and most successful projects happen once I say to myself and to the world that I WILL DO IT.

Most of us truly, like really, aren’t so afraid of failing. We think we are. But what we are afraid of is, people “seeing” us fail. Those people usually being family, friends and people who are in our inner circle.

So, let’s take your fear, whatever it currently is and let’s break it down.

  1. What are you fearful of? Is it simply failing? Someone seeing your fail? Loss of money? Loss of time? Feeling like you won’t be able to regroup and start again if you fail? List your true and complete fear.

  2. If your true fear is a person, name them AND why are you afraid of them seeing you fail ( side note: we ALL have that one person who is praying for our slipups-this is normal)

  3. So, if you’re reading this, it means you’re alive despite the things in your life that you may have failed at right? I want you to list what things were you so afraid of failing at, but you made it out to the other side even with the failure.

  4. Make a list of ALL of the reasons you are holding back on your dreams, your goals and your ideas. Keep in mind that this list is private, that there is no one judging you AND don’t censor yourself while making this list.

  5. Once you’ve made your list, read it over. Ruminate over it. Cry over it if need be.

  6. Then, burn it. And send everyone and every thought that sounds like judgement to hell. If you want to go deeper into your clarity session get your journal at www.52QuestionsJournal.com. Now prepare for the next lesson...