Female Jealousy and Why We Shouldn't Deal with Things

Female Jealousy and Why We Shouldn't Deal with Things

Dear Gorgeous:

I deal with jealousy from females a lot. I am so nice and fun; I just don't understand it! Women get so mad when I come around. Now, don't get me wrong; not all women are like this but, in my life, the majority of them have been. They roll their eyes at me and catch attitudes with me over the silliest things. So my question is, how do you deal with petty or jealous females?

-Sable Kardashian


Dear Sable:

I don't want to make this response about jealous women because, to be honest, you're going to encounter that and way worse than that throughout your lifetime. What I will center my response upon is the idea of dealing with things.

The Trappings of Dealing:

There is this idea, this consensus, that just because something or someone exists, it must be dealt with. This is wrong. The fact of that matter is that if we dealt with everything and everybody every second of everyday, there would be no time and absolutely no energy to deal with ourselves, our issues, problems and solutions.

Be very careful, my love, not to make other people's issues yours.

Whether it's jealousy, hate, lies, omissions, or indifference, the people you will meet and even those you will never know will all come with their own set of baggage––feelings and ways of being that will have nothing to do with how they feel about you and everything to do with how they feel about themselves and their circumstances. Do not fall into the trap of thinking this is anything to deal with.

Practice the practice:

It's time to start practicing the art of separation and compartmentalization. This mental exercise is simple to explain but can be difficult to practice, therefore, rest assured that over time, you will have to practice the practice. What this means is that you may not be able to grasp these exercises instantaneously, but you should not be overwhelmed or discouraged. Instead, focus on practicing the practice of separation and compartmentalization––take it one day at a time and remain conscious of your choices before, during, and after you make them. Think of this as tutelage. When preparing for an exam, one must study, but if we are unsure of the proper ways to study, we need a tutor to help us study the art of studying! Study the study. Practice the practice.

Separation and Compartmentalization:

Now, separation is the ability to set yourself aside from what is happening. you need to realize, know, and believe that not everything is about you. Separate yourself from the actions of others and be sure that what people think, feel, say, or do has nothing to do with you.

Then, compartmentalize. Everything and everyone has their place and time. It is important and absolutely necessary for you to put everything and everyone where they belong in your life, in your emotional being, in your mind, and in your heart. Where do these jealous women belong? Do they belong anywhere at all? And where do you belong? Be sure to compartmentalize yourself, as well! Should you be in certain circles with certain people? Would you encounter such jealousy if you were in a social circle filled with people who carry themselves the same or even higher than you? Everything and everyone has their own place and time and maybe it's about time for you to move on and find a new place.

Here's Your Homework:

The mantra is, No person, no problem. When you remove yourself from certain people, places, and things that make you feel uncomfortable, you will no longer feel uncomfortable. It is just that simple and your homework is just as simple––remove yourself. Separate.

Then, practice compartmentalizing such events and people. Just imagine there are several boxes in your mind––one for things that matter and one for things that don't.  People and their feelings don't matter when those people are in no way connected to you, and even when people are connected to you, their feelings still don't matter unless you decide to give them power. Only you know which people in your lifedeserve to have their feelings matter.

What Will Happen Next:

When you master the art of separation and compartmentalization, you will find yourself in a world of peace. There is something to be said about this sort of conscious disconnection. When you master it, there will be no "dealing" with things that and people who don't deserve that much energy or thought. Free yourself from the confines of caring about the silliness of jealous women and anything else that irritates you.

In Conclusion:

Use this practice in all parts of your life, personal, professional, and otherwise. It will do you good to not "deal" with things happening outside of you that have nothing to do with you and really, will never affect you. What other people think or feel about you will never change your life––unless you let it. Good luck.


Community Questions:

Do you find yourself dealing with people and situations to which you wish you hadn't given so much energy? Do you find yourself wondering why you even bother? Have you been living with the idea that you have to "deal" with everything? Leave you comments below.

New York Times best selling author, keynote speaker and workshop leader, founder of The Gorgeous Girl's Guide, Steffans Publishing Enterprises, and Karrine & Co.